When It Is None Of Your Business

Some stories should never happen and some stories do not happen enough.  Here is one that should not have happened to begin with but the only way for it to not happen again is for it to replay itself a couple of hundred times.  I think I created another tongue twister.  Despite its structure, the sentence is logical, I promise.  Here is the story for you to judge for yourself:

There is a sister who moved in a few years ago, seemingly happy and content in her life.  She socializes during the community events, shows up for prayers, and even drops by during the occasional birthdays and baby showers.  Year after year, she meets you with greetings and smiles, and year after year you grow more and more curious about what you can not see.  There is no little hand that holds her finger, there are no little feet running behind her to catch up with her brisk walk.  She is seemingly happy with her husband, you think.  Her house is full of activity every time you visit. Whether she is involved with new projects or working towards her career, you always find her smiling and gracious towards everyone.  That is when thoughts began to circle your mind: Isn’t she lonely? Does she not want to be a mother? Isn’t that forbidden? Is she infertile? Is there a problem in the marriage?

You were just wondering that when she came over and sits by you, handing the cupcake you have been eyeing.  That is when the question burning on your lips finally spills over, “Why don’t you have any kids?”

Let me backtrack a minute.  Did you catch the moment?  You know, the moment when you failed to realized that her private life is none of your business.  Yes, I may be snapping my finger and pouting my lips when I say that. When everything else seems normal and you have burning questions, remember that more often than not, it is none of your business.

Your casual statements of “I am praying for you,” or “this supplements is good for that, you know” thrown into conversations are not welcomed nor are they, quite frankly, wanted.  Statements and questions such as the one you just asked may actually result in her shrugging and nudging the conversation into another direction.  However, you are reading my words.  The words on this blog do not sugarcoat any emotion nor do they hide behind courteous responses.  Especially when it comes to this subject.

So let’s keep going, pretend it is me who you just asked that question to:  “Why don’t you have any kids?”

I shuffle in my seat, uncross my legs, take your cupcake and jam it up your face-NO. Sorry, let me try that again.

I take a deep breath, stare at your phone peeking from the bag you can’t seem to keep close, and nudge towards the 20-something messages from your nanny, saying, “They keep getting more expensive, don’t they”-NO.  Sorry, that was not thoughtful at all. Rather, it was quite the opposite. Let me try one more time.

I smile meekly, take a sip of the lemonade from my cup, and look right into your curious eyes.  The words that leave my mouth are clear in their enunciation and are loud enough for you to hear over the hum of the surrounding chatter: “It is none of your business.”  I stand up, adjust my dress, and make my way towards someone who is not interested in prying into my private life.

It’s a fictional story made up of entirely non-fictional events.  It has traces of sarcasm and frustration which I hope you were able to grasp.  I sincerely feel that if is repeated multiple times, the unnecessarily-curious-few’s will finally get the message that their curiosity ends when someone else’s personal life begins.  This concept extend to strangers, to friends, and yes, even to family.  I understand if one feels that there is a mystery to be solved or advises that must be given.  Please, dearest unnecessarily-curious-few’s, should you be reading, there is no mystery and there is not any need for your advice.  Your companionship, friendship and kind gestures are all that are needed to make this world a better place.

The end.

-S