Issue 004: A Birthday and Back to School

Audio version of this post:

– Thoughts Worth Sharing –

In this letter: A birthday, going back to school, knowing when to give up

Assalam o Alaikum Friend,

Welcome, 2022! I had an interesting beginning to the new year. The day before we visited a local state park, Living Desert Park. I wore the warm clothes for good reason as everywhere we have been in New Mexico is always windy. It is one of the many things I love about this state. We walked the nearly 2 miles hike while exploring the desert beauty in the winter. They also had a small gift shop towards the end and my husband gifted me a beautiful handmade stone ring by an indigenous artist. That’s a type of jewelry that I don’t mind owning! The staff were surprised that we enjoyed the wind! Is there anyone who doesn’t?

Oh back to the 2022 beginnings. We actually spent the New Year moment in our pjs, happened to be awake since Hamza gets holidays off now alhumdulillah, huddling close together for warmth on our small balcony to watch the fireworks someone was creating in their backyard. It wasn’t exciting and I don’t think I will celebrate anything until covid has a cure. Then, it will be 2 nafl of gratitude because that is something worth celebrating.

• 01 // Birthdays

I celebrated my 35th birthday this month and… it was interesting, to say the least. It just so happened to be the day Hamza had scheduled his booster and the poor guy went through some uncomfortable side effects this time around. Just a few weeks before I had gotten mine and while I was preparing for the worst with homemade broth and cooked meals for the following day, I just had a few hours of discomfort. Hamza, on the other hand, was expecting nothing and got hit with a wild card. Allah ﷻ is the best of planners and we put our complete trust in Him ﷻ. We don’t generally celebrate birthdays in our home. It was a conscious decision a year or so into our marriage when we decided to forgo material gifts and choose experiences instead. Not only does it take the stress out of the situation but it also avoid waste. I don’t know about you, but I have received gifts which I felt bad for not using and it isn’t as enjoyable to give gifts on demand than to do it spontaneously. There is always a worldly and a spiritual benefit in doing things according to the sunnah. So while we wish each other a Happy Birthday, we don’t do anything special. We wait until our anniversary to go all out on experiences and that’s something I look forward to the most.

• 02 // Going back to School

Something unexpected happened this month as well. When I graduated with a BA in Psychology all those years ago, I knew that there was not much I could do with it except to pursue a Masters degree. It became a dream then. My undergraduate study was completed with the help of scholarships and financial aid, both considered gifts without any expectation of interest-bearing debt. I am beyond grateful for being able to finish that degree without much out-of-pocket costs. After being married, we revisited this idea a few times and I always stepped back due to having the financial burden that comes with Graduate School and student loans are out of the question for us due to the religious path we have chosen. Finally, after about 12 years of graduating, the moment presented itself for me to pursue that dream. How incredible is it that this happened while living in the smallest of towns where I didn’t want to be in? This was the place where I specifically told Hamza that I didn’t want to go and even as I said those words years ago, Allah ﷻ planned this path where opportunities would open up for me to attend grad school in the best of circumstances, without using student loans. So here I am, nervous as anything but excited to begin a journey on February 7 to become a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Any late grad school students like me? Please give me some nuggets of advice that I can take with me to succeed insha’Allah.

• 03 // Giving Up

I shared with you in one of the Wednesday Musings letters about us trying to find a home to reside in after retirement in a few years. We decided to try El Paso, TX which was a short drive from here. The beautiful masjid, the mountainous region, vibrant multi-cultural community and that lovely breeze won us over. We thought that we could get a property we love and rent it until it was time for us to move in. We went on several trips, saw several homes, and realized what an absolute nightmare this market is. We sold our home to a really unexpected price and now as buyers, our feelings are the opposite. Did you know that El Paso, TX property taxes are from among the highest in the country? On average, we are looking at adding 400-600 USD every month for a 200-300K home. We gave it one final shot last time at a property within our budget that looked promising in photos. After a three hour drive, it was a major disappointment. Peeling paint, shoddy roof job, not a good location… we felt that our realtor let us down by not giving us those details. With that experience, I’ve hung my hat as they say, and I’m looking elsewhere. This was also part of my studies plan because living in our small town means very few internship possibilities for family therapy. In fact, I haven’t found a single one yet. I’m trying to see within a 2 hours distance if anything is available. One thing I know for sure is that Allah ﷻ got us here, He answered our Istikhara prayers, He allowed me to be admitted into the program so He will provide an opening. He is always in control and He will get us to the best place for us when the time is right.

Thank you for spending time with me today. It was nice to catch up with you!

With love, S

Leave a comment below or consider sharing this newsletter with someone who might love it.