Ep 24 – Living Dead

Samia and Samar answer a question about their struggles with their health.

They discuss:

• Their personal histories with illnesses
• How others live with those who have chronic illnesses
• Acceptance and the loss of self
• Spirituality; active and passive worship

Matcha Talk Website – Say Salaams

BASIC BREAKDOWN

Samia shares a comment that they received about a sister who also has a thyroid disease like herself and the feelings of loneliness an illness can invoke.

Samar shares her past of severe lack of energy, specifically at one point that vacuuming became a mission. She promotes the idea of being kinder to ourselves and celebrating even the small steps.

They laude taking breaks while doing daily tasks that they could previously accomplish without a second thought. Comparing oneself to others’ ideals is unrealistic and unkind.

Samia’s husband shared that he only recently understood how long it takes her to do certain things. Those who are living with people with such illnesses would need to work to have more empathy. Samar shares the idea of needing to continue lifestyle ‘as it was before’.

Families have difficulty understanding the reason people with illnesses cannot fast. Sharing responsibilities during Ramadan is imperative and people should strive to understand the reason why someone may not be fasting that day. Everyone should do their part.

In the past, Samia would experiment with food but her illness and tasks no longer allow for impromptu cooking forays. There is a lot of planning that goes into her daily tasks. She emphasizes the importance of communicating with others when reaching personal boundaries.

A root of a lot of concerns felt while dealing with illnesses is the lack of acceptance. It is important to understand what one is no longer capable of, unapologetically. Allah gives tests only to the extent that one can handle so going through something, they know they can handle it.

This process involves grieving the loss of self, of the person who had particular dreams that are no longer achievable. Acceptance of the test is the goal of believers, although it takes a lot of time to do.

Samar shares her style of worship while she didn’t have energy. Listening to lectures or practicing other forms of passive worship helped her hold on to her deen during her low days.

Every difficulty believers go through has benefit, has goodness in both this life as well as the hereafter. The struggles are meant to take you to another station towards Allah so not focusing on the spiritual obligations is wasteful. Remembering the bigger picture through passive worship helps with this.

They discuss praying standing up and the ease in Islam. Celebrate the small steps taken even in one’s religious life. Sitting down allows for energy conservation, is allowed because one is under duress, is meant for those who are not Sahaba.

Samia reminds people to prioritize obligations over other passive worship, but use those actions to help boost the obligations. ‘Don’t fool yourself’ is a theme for those living with chronic illnesses. Acceptance is key.

Samar shares one method of dealing with her concerns; protein shakes. Samia utilizes dates for this purpose.