2018 – Ten Things I Learned This Year

In addition to it being a new year, as of today, I have touched my personal new year of 32 with awe, alhumdulillah. I wondered allowed what to include in this post and my husband said behind me, “You had a tough year.” Yes, yes I did. This year was filled with many events and lessons, but it was a year of growth for more reasons than one. Here are the ten things I learned in 2018:

1. Health: Health, if intact and well cared for, is a huge blessing. Many times I find myself thinking the following: If I could go to every child and every parent, I would tell them to please value what the body consumes. Everything we eat, how we eat it, when we eat it has a lasting impact on the body. Not everything labeled “healthy” or any of those titles is actually healthy. We should not be saying “if only”, as the Pophet (s) instructed yet I have to remind myself of this very instruction lest I fall into lamentation. My health was the biggest hurdle this year. This leads me to my next lesson.
2. Advocacy: You, only you, can take care of yourself. Not your parents, not your husband, not any person on earth can take care of yourself like you can. Setting boundaries and maintaining discipline where the focus is YOU can only be done out of love and compassion. Many mental illnesses around this come forth when we see our body as our enemy rather than our responsibility. I am still learning that balance. One thing is for sure, If I do not take care of myself, if I ignore to take the vitamins and minerals, if I choose to eat the wrong things before sleep, if I choose to eat the wrong things throughout the day, then only I am affected. And no one can put anything in my body except with my permission. Choose to value health.
3. Spirituality: As the health of the body is dependent on what you feed it, the health of the soul is dependent on what it consumes. Spiritualty stagnates and eventually falters unless it is cared for. This year was difficult for me to choose my spirituality over anything else. My mind and body was occupied with fighting Hashimoto’s. My heart suffered a little. No, it suffered a lot. I have not fully learned how to balance these different parts of my existence but I have learned that I must keep doing something to keep my soul alive.
4. Growth: This year, I began taking an herbalism course. It was expensive, to say the least. I had to choose wisely and invest in my growth. One thing that I fear the most is staying the same – not allowing the mind to keep growing through knowledge. As herbs have personally impacted and benefited me, it was only fitting for me to pursue this a little more and take some matters in my own hands. Choosing a path of growth for myself was empowering and quite frankly, addicting. I also learned that seeking growth can be a challenging concept that may take several years to come to fruition. There are some dreams which I keep chasing and yet they seem to travel a farther distance as soon as they seem out of reach. So the idea of growth is closely related to trust in that even when it seems that I am not growing, the only truth during those times is that I am because Allah (swt) is guiding me in it.
5. Just be kind: Oh what amazing things kindness can do! While it was difficult for me to be kind this year with the chaotic political and social environment, I was able to get a brief introduction to Islamic inner sciences. It dawned on me that I had adopted an attitude of rigidity in spirituality. The scale was tipped towards “rigidity” more than its opposite so my worldview was not following the Islamic teaching of balance. Moreover, I feel a desi culture is generally (though not always) involved in rigidity when it comes to faith rather than trying to promote a prophetic way of living. If only we adopted an attitude of kindness towards others and kept the criticism (the healthy kind) to ourselves, our position in the world as well as in the family would be much different.
6. Hijab: This year, the topic of hijab was lifted to an unwelcomed station from among the Muslim community. I did not realize the blessing of being guided to wear it until then. Indeed, it is a blessing to wear it, to fulfill Allah’s commands, to love it, and live by it (the last of which I am still working on). We have to be confident enough in our faith and be comfortable enough in our skin to do what we want rather than what society – whether Muslim or not – wants us to do. We have to love being the strangers because as the Messenger of Allah (s) said, glad tidings are for them.
7. Activism: With the drastic changes in our society and increasingly hostile environment in this county, the rise of activism has been celebrated much more than before. Well, I don’t know about that last part as I have never really noticed something like this before. Due to it, though, my eyes have been opened to the plight of the black community, to intersectional racism against people of color, to continuous bombardment of such views in all forms of media, and what role I can play as a human being to better the next generation. It is a long road with many bumps but it is a road worthy to be taken by a believer.
8. Travel: This year was my first international trip as a grown adult. We went to Spain as a couple and experienced different culture, different environments, different beliefs, different food, different priorities, different value systems and different ways of life. It was an enlightening experience which made me slightly uncomfortable during some parts and willing to change in the other ones. It kindled the desire to travel more. It is an exercise in trust – trust on the self and trust on Allah (swt) – as well as growth while going through strange lands. I hope to be able to do more of it the following year inshaAllah.
9. Sustainability: I took a significant step towards sustainability this year. From changing the way I shop for #mysunnahcloset and trying to diminish single use plastic little by little, this lesson was learned a bit later than I would have wanted for myself. Just a bit. It requires a bit more disciplined and a wider lens to see the world and environment as a part of a whole that impacts those in it as well as my spirituality. So @sunnahlivingcloset has been an amazing asset for me in charting my style journey through the world of sustainability.
10. Personal limits: I have lived most of my life as “yes” person, saying yes to things that I did not want to do as well as things that made me uncomfortable. In the past couple of years, I have been able to speak up for what I feel unapologetically. And it was this year that all of this solidified for me. Letting the other person know when boundaries are being crossed and personal comfort level is being intruded open is very important. I learned this year to listen to my inner voice and stay adamant on its existence rather than be swayed by another’s perspective.

With all of these lessons, here comes 2019! Insha’Allah I will live through this year working on these very lessons as well as learning new things through new experiences. If my life is taken away during this new year, then it is my request, dear friend, for you to remember me in your dua’s, ask for Allah’s Mercy upon me, think of me fondly, and use my words on this blog and elsewhere as a means to improve yourself and others.

-S